I am so lost

I have to quite listen to piazzolla because it remind me too much of someone.  Love is never perfect in my life, and I tend to run away when there is problem.  I never really love or even like anyone, but when I do, I really try it with my heart.  Under all kinds of condition, this relationship, oh yeah , let's cut it off now, it wasn't a relationship seems to literally kill me inside out.  I was crying last week, but I tried to tell myself, I didn't like him that much.  But what if I did,or I still do.  It is over, and things will never be back even I wants to.  I feel empty and weak.  It takes more than u to destroy me, but Though I am not destroyed, I am scared.  I am scared I will not find anyone that I like to be able to love me back.  Nothing will be the same.  Maybe I should wait, wait quietly.  Be nice to myself, run away from the love game, and try to be a good girl.  Romance, and passion do not last long, as what mothers always say.  One thing I will do is to keep u, if I can, but u are gone, and life goes on.   te amo